San Diego to Bend

 Heading out of San Diego Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend we hit traffic through LA county.  Remind me never to drive through LA on a holiday weekend.  Oh my gosh.  I’ve never seen so many people going both directions!  It was crazy.  And like Idaho, Montana, we can cross LA off of places I will ever live.  

Getting out of LA we headed towards Paso Robles to pick up our trailer.  Due to unforeseen traffic delays, we got into Paso much later than we had anticipated, really close to dark.  We were going to try out Harvest Hosts, which is a platform where winery’s and other businesses with space, allow RV’s to stay the night for free with the hope they’ll buy whatever they produce.  Knowing we were going to be really late, we cancelled our reservation and pulled into a random RV park that turned out to be really nice.  When we are camping, I generally think of state parks and more rustic venues.  We instead ended up at “park” with a pull through site on concrete with hookups.  Translate: level sleeping with no work.  It was pretty great.  Though I wouldn’t want to necessarily vacation there I would definitely hit up RV parks in the future for a safe, quiet and clean overnight.

From Paso we headed north to Stockton area where we rented an outdoor storage space to drop our trailer.  We figured going home it was going to be snowing on the passes and cold in Liberty lake. (That sadly was not the case as there is no snow anywhere = no skiing for the kids).  Staying in the south also meant we didn’t have to winterize/dewinterize the trailer which saves so much work.

Originally we were going to go from Paso Robles over to San Luis Obispo for a week to check it out.  After staying in Morro Bay and spending a day in SLO, both Balin and I were ready to move on.  Where?  With no trailer in tow, we decided to head north to Bend with a stop over at Balin’s parents house.  

I have to say, stopping by and seeing Michael and Susie has been one of the treasures of this trip.  We have seen them more in their home in the last 3 months than we had seen them in the last 10 years. (We didn’t go to Southern Oregon often.). It has been such a joy for me to hang out with them, help them around the house if they need it, have dinner, play cards.  I really do enjoy hanging out with them and I’m grateful to have such great in laws.

The next morning we headed to Ashland for a great breakfast and afterwards headed to Bend.  It was such a beautiful drive through Crater Lake area and it only took 3 hours to get there.  We rented a little Airbnb down the street from 10 Barrel Brewing Co for the first part of the week, wanting to see what it was like to be able to walk to restaurants and be close to everything.  Well, we liked it for sure.  For those who don’t know Bend, it’s split by the Deschutes River and Hwy 97 making an east and west part of town.  We stayed primarily on the west side, which is where the Crossings is.  The developer 20 years ago had the brilliant idea of using upwards of 15 builders to build the houses so that they had distinct variances in design, along with parks (including dog parks) and a central commercial area that feels like a small town.  It is exactly what I had been dreaming of for living; walking distance to everything with cute, small houses.  Bonus, it’s only a 30 minute drive to Mt Bachelor and a 15 minute bike ride to Phil’s trails. (The beginning of so many MTB trails in Bend).  Not only that, the neighborhood is crisscrossed with biking paths and sidewalks which had people on them at all hours and all weather. (It did rain while we were there). As Balin and I were checking out the neighborhoods around there, we stumbled across an open house for a house in a new development just outside of the Crossings called Discovery West.  The house was beautiful and it had alley accessed garages and was walking distance to a little coffee shop and bakery.  This got us thinking….

There is a food court style area in the Crossings that had amazing food and drink.  Both times we went there it was hoppin with people.

I grabbed a coffee and bought a poetry book by Mary Oliver and sat in the coffee shop at the Crossings.  I started to chat with a couple of ladies as they were pulling out their knitting.  They had moved there from various places and started Meet Up groups for all sorts of things and they were loving their lives in Bend.  They were all over the age of 60 and seemed so young.

One of the mornings we were there, we made a meeting with the Area Director for Young Life.  We spent an hour listening to what is going on in the area in terms of ministry and got to know Brian a little bit as we also shared our journey.  It was a really great connection and I’m glad we made the effort to do it.  

After our meeting I took Balin to the Bend airport where he flew back to San Diego for his aunt Jackie’s memorial.  Perrin picked him up and they had 5 hours in the car on their way to Carlsbad due to a jumper on a bridge.  From the sounds of it, it was a meaningful and connecting weekend honoring Susie’s sister.

Balin flew home on Sunday afternoon and I picked him up and we headed out to the church Brian the Young Life director went to.  Riverbend.  A Jesus Church.  It was so small and so friendly, we immediately felt at home.  The pastor gave a beautiful sermon on peace and then at the end of the service we spent 10 minutes in silent prayer practicing having peace.  It was very cool.  

My sister had a friend from college who had moved from Sammamish to Bend a few years ago after the kids left the house.  We met with Neal and Tony for a beer and got the low down on their experience.  They were loving their life and couldn’t say enough good things about their time in Bend.

Neal told us where to grab a permit for cutting down a Christmas tree so before we headed for home we went into the woods and cut down our very own tree, for $5.  Her backside is a little bare, but she looks amazing in the house.

All in all Bend was a delightful stop on our way north.  Years ago when we lived in Bellevue and were looking for a new place to live, Bend had been on our list, along with Prescott and Ashland.  At the time, its lack of access made it not a good move for us as the airport was small and the highways in and out of town were two lanes.  They still are but we’re in a different place in life so it’s not so important anymore.  

As we considered where we wanted to land for the next stage of life, I had a strong, ongoing conversation with ChatGPT.  Putting in the desires for a place to live such as walkability, bike ability, moderate climate, lots of young and old people, beautiful environment etc. Bend hit all the requirements except moderate climate.  After spending time in Sonoma for a month, I definitely LOVED the climate there.  Enough moisture to make everything green and enough sunshine to keep things warm.  It’s still on my top 3 places I’d like to live.  After spending the weekend with Sam and Perrin, I knew that Sonoma was a place they would come to visit, but they would never live there.  Bend on the other hand is a place they definitely would consider living in.  And so it got me thinking; is it the weather that I have a problem with or is it the desire to be outside.  What if there’s a place where people would be outside regardless of the weather - would that make a difference?  As we saw in our week in Bend in the winter, people were outside riding bikes, grabbing coffee or a beer.  Outdoor fires with seating were at almost every restaurant and people were on the streets or in the dog parks.  And it was winter.  Hmmm….

After touring the initial house in the new development, I engaged a realtor and toured a few more houses in the neighborhood and in different neighborhoods.  I saw many beautiful homes but none that made me feel like home.  Except one.  There was a 1400’ craftsman that was done so well and I immediately knew Balin had to see this.  When Balin got home from San Diego, we met the realtor and we went through 4 houses so he could get a feeling of what was available.  He too loved the little craftsman but said we needed something a little bit bigger.  The next day I gave the builder a call and to my surprise he said he had time that day to meet and discuss what he had available for sale.  We chatted and then walked over to a spec house that he was just starting on and had the foundation poured.  It was 2000’, 3 beds 2 bath plus an office, 3 car garage on .25 acre lot.  PERFECT.  We asked if we could get a front porch that was a little bigger so it felt like a front room and if we could create the outdoor garden space.  I think he got excited to have people who appreciated his detailed work and who knew that a garden is what makes the exterior of the house.  After the discussion, Balin wisely said we need a week to chat, pray and get away from the emotional excitement of it all to see if it’s really where we want to live - and how we were going to pay for it.

Interestingly in the midst of all of this, I had been praying that Balin and I would be of one accord on where we were going to move.  I didn’t and don’t want to be in a place where I was happy but he was struggling.  We already experienced that in Costa Rica.  I also had this small voice telling me to “trust me” as I would daily look at housing in Sonoma and anywhere else I thought maybe we could live.  At a core level I was anxious about our future, where we would live and the time line.  I was finding it not so peaceful to travel to different places and be assessing if they were a place we could live.  It was constant. 

In one of our daily discussions I mentioned to Balin that not having a home would be very destabilizing for me long term.  I love having a home to nest in, it’s a huge comfort to my soul.  I was also concerned that if we didn’t find a place to call home we would slide back into staying in Liberty Lake and I definitely didn’t want to do that.  

As we got home and processed Bend, Sonoma and the idea of moving, we both quickly came to a mutual decision; Bend.  We’ve called the builder and we’re working on contracts, escrow and design.  One of the really cool things about the timing of all this, is the house won’t be ready until next October or November, which is exactly when we were hoping to be done with our road trip across the states.  

It’s been interesting being back in Liberty Lake with the mind set that we’re going to be leaving here.  It’s really a beautiful place - the forest is so alive and full.  The lake is such a gift in sight and for activity.  We went mountain biking the other day behind the house and it was glorious, cold but glorious.  On the drive from Bend to Liberty Lake we listened to the Art of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo so we were ready to go when we got home.  We have gone through every inch of the house throwing away, giving away and keeping what brings us joy and has a spot in our new home.  It’s been a delightful process and very freeing to live with less stuff everywhere.  

We have also contacted our real estate agent and have a plan for listing the house by April 1.  We took some pictures and are sending out a blurb on the house to friends who might know someone who would like to buy the house pre-realtor.  We’ll see.  Either way, we’re heading out Jan 4-20 to Costa Rica and then the first week of Feb to grab the trailer and head South and East.  Excited to see what happens.