It seems to me that my life goes really, really fast and then r e a l l y , r e a l l y s l o w. Sometimes I like the fast, sometimes I like the slow - I guess I'm just trying to be in the moment. Currently, the moment is slow. A week and a half ago it was fast. Let's see, where to start for a brief catch up.
Balin headed to Argentina for 10 days the second week of March, which was great. His schedule sounded rigorous and I was/am in no way envious of such trips. While he was gone, the kids and I settled into a pleasant rhythm and were doing great. Then, my dad went into the hospital for something related to his heart. While there he got worse to the point of calling all children, including my brother in Seattle who happened to be out sailing, to come to the hospital asap as it looked like he was going to pass. My sister was in Phoenix having a girls weekend and her family were preparing to leave for Florida the following day for Spring Break. It was no use calling and asking Balin to come home as it was an easy 2 day trip for him and we didn't think dad was going to make it. Fast, Fast, Fast was the speed of life. Trying to find care for the kids so I could relieve my mom in the hospital and spend precious moments with dad was tiring. We worked it out though and once my brother got into town it was much easier as he was able to relieve mom at the hospital and help a bit with the scheduling of kids.
All in all Spring Break went by in a blur of hospital visits and a lot of sighing. (I tend to sigh when I get overwhelmed or stressed.) I picked up Balin in Phoenix the Thursday of spring break, made a plan on our way home from the airport and moved into action. We decided that we would take the motorhome (had to pack it on Thursday) and that we would stay in Disneyland for the weekend with Balin's folks and then we'd play it by ear. Miraclously we got everything put together and were on the road early Friday morning. Poor Balin commented that he had been traveling for 4 days straight - his red eyes showed his exhaustion. We arrived in Anaheim Friday night and had Balin's parents over for dinner. The kids were quick to get on their bikes and scoot around the RV park - and we were happy to make fresh margueritas.
The next day we entered Disneyland at the bright hour of 8am. I had run across a software program that allowed you to schedule your time in Disneyland so that you had a wait of no longer than 20 minutes - during spring break no less - and you know what, it worked. We sailed through tons of rides and had time to spare. The site is www.Ridemax.com and is well worth the $15 for a three month subscription.
I was good in Disneyland for a day and then I was done. We went to California Adventure one day, which was fun, but by Monday I was done with the amusement parks. I find that they take life from me instead of filling me up. I tried to hold my tongue though as the kids were having a blast. Lucky for them, their grandparents were into Disneyland as much as they were and took them two nights in a row. They all went on rides over and over and over again. They stayed up late for the fireworks. They are saints. Next time I think that the kids would have a much better time in Disneyland if they left their mother at home and went with their grandparents.
On Monday we decided to cut our trip short and head home as my dad's health wasn't good and we were all tired. Balin's parents went on to San Diego and continued to enjoy themselves. On our way home we got a message that my dad was in the hospital again and not doing well. We got home, cleaned out the motorhome and both of felt incredibly overwhelmed with life. Our yard was a mess as we had just installed the greenhouse and things were a mess around there. Traditionally in March I kind of freak out as the garden needs to be cleaned up, cut down and remulched. March is always the time I swear no more gardens. Plus I was biting at the bit to get started in my greenhouse but that also felt overwhelming as it needed to have a plan - which I didn't have. We spent the Saturday we got home in the garden and pretty much got almost everything cleaned up. It felt so refreshing to have the garden "clean", it's like i could think again.
Since last weekend, things have slowed down quite a bit. I put all non-essential commitments on hold, like Spanish. I want to create space around me and my family so that we have time and energy to give to people that need it right now, primarily my parents and sister's family. Of course the space also allows me to putz in my greenhouse, which is so incredibly life giving to me. I am potting up agastache, echinops, mexican feather grass, echinacea - all with the hopes of selling it to friends to offset the cost of having a greenhouse. I've got tons of seeds started and even got a 5'x7' bed planted with cool season crops. Can't wait till things start to sprout.
On the down side, I got the bill for my short, oh so short, time in the emergency room. $5900 pre-insurance, $5300 after insurance. Balin called and asked if we could cut the cost at all and they said nope - $2000 per cat scan and I had two of them. Next time I'm getting care you can bet I'm going to ask how much the service costs and what are my other options. I can guarentee that if everyone had to pay their own medical costs, we would ask how much everything was and be a bit more conservative in our care. Just a thought.
Balin's been home and hopefully won't be traveling for at least a week. My brother is coming into town on Monday and will stay for a long week, which will be so nice. My mom is asking hospice to come in as my dad's bed ridden now and she thinks it's the best decision for the time. So....all that to say, I'm doing okay. My friends and family have been incredibly supportive and I'm thankful that I have a such a deep reserve of friendships.
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