So for those of you who know me, I've really struggled with commitment to activities for myself and my kids. To be blunt, I've struggled with the commitment of sports for myself and my family. It's no secret, my kids have never been on a legit sports team.
I'm not sure where it comes from, but clearly I have some deep seated issues with it as Sam is turning 11 and Perrin is 9, which, for our culture is a very long time to have never played on a sports team.
I was pondering this again today, for the 100th time. I often vacillate between feeling guilty for not committing and being somewhat proud of it - but I just had one of those "ah-ha" moments when it all made sense.
Looking back at the past week and our activity, I recognized that my children have their own "sports" team that their committed to; meeting and doing life with friends. As I look at Balin's and my life, I see too, that though we have often failed to commit to a small group, or a weekly bible study, or even a bike ride once a week with the same group of people, we have committed to doing life well with people.
People. They're are my sport. I love getting to know people, asking them a gazillion questions, not because I'm particularly nosey, but I truly want to know what you're passionate about, where they dream of going on your next vacation, what their family is like - it's absolutely life giving to me. I find that my life is a tapestry of interesting people that I meet and have in my circle of influence sometimes for hours, sometimes for years. I'm okay with that. I love having dear friends that I can call up and catch up with or simply share my struggles with. But I also love the people that come and go in my life, they truly make my life more colorful.
Even though it's sometimes exhausting to help my children learn the skills of friendship building, it's also a beautiful thing to watch.
The other day I decided to call some families from the new school the kids will be attending in the fall and invite them over for a play date on the lake. One family called back and said they would love to meet up and get to know one another. So does that seem crazy that I would call up a family I didn't know and put myself out there - hoping we'd all meet up and get along? It was kind of, I have to admit. But it was so worth it. The mom and I have so much in common and chatted for 3 hours straight while Perrin and their daughter Isabella played American Girl doll for 3 hours. By the end of the day they were both clamoring for another playmate, which we set for next week.
That is my idea of a great day - a twofer one - Perrin and I both have new friends.
The beautiful thing in all of this is that one sport/activity is not better than another. I think what matters is one does it with intention and balance, knowing where boundaries lie and when yourself and your family need space and time to slow down and just be. I am working with the children, and myself, to not place self-worth on external things, (sports, people, academics) but find our self worth in things that are more permanent. It definitely takes us to some soul searching depths but the relationships are worth it.
I'm not sure where it comes from, but clearly I have some deep seated issues with it as Sam is turning 11 and Perrin is 9, which, for our culture is a very long time to have never played on a sports team.
I was pondering this again today, for the 100th time. I often vacillate between feeling guilty for not committing and being somewhat proud of it - but I just had one of those "ah-ha" moments when it all made sense.
Looking back at the past week and our activity, I recognized that my children have their own "sports" team that their committed to; meeting and doing life with friends. As I look at Balin's and my life, I see too, that though we have often failed to commit to a small group, or a weekly bible study, or even a bike ride once a week with the same group of people, we have committed to doing life well with people.
People. They're are my sport. I love getting to know people, asking them a gazillion questions, not because I'm particularly nosey, but I truly want to know what you're passionate about, where they dream of going on your next vacation, what their family is like - it's absolutely life giving to me. I find that my life is a tapestry of interesting people that I meet and have in my circle of influence sometimes for hours, sometimes for years. I'm okay with that. I love having dear friends that I can call up and catch up with or simply share my struggles with. But I also love the people that come and go in my life, they truly make my life more colorful.
Even though it's sometimes exhausting to help my children learn the skills of friendship building, it's also a beautiful thing to watch.
The other day I decided to call some families from the new school the kids will be attending in the fall and invite them over for a play date on the lake. One family called back and said they would love to meet up and get to know one another. So does that seem crazy that I would call up a family I didn't know and put myself out there - hoping we'd all meet up and get along? It was kind of, I have to admit. But it was so worth it. The mom and I have so much in common and chatted for 3 hours straight while Perrin and their daughter Isabella played American Girl doll for 3 hours. By the end of the day they were both clamoring for another playmate, which we set for next week.
That is my idea of a great day - a twofer one - Perrin and I both have new friends.
The beautiful thing in all of this is that one sport/activity is not better than another. I think what matters is one does it with intention and balance, knowing where boundaries lie and when yourself and your family need space and time to slow down and just be. I am working with the children, and myself, to not place self-worth on external things, (sports, people, academics) but find our self worth in things that are more permanent. It definitely takes us to some soul searching depths but the relationships are worth it.
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